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Show More. Our children are our lifeline to exsistance and people like this coach not only put these young adolesents in jeapordy , but our own community and social citizenship is destined for failure. Who are we to tell our children to stand up for what is right? When will we stand up?
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Society allows people like this same coach who has been in this same school for over 40 years doing the imtemidation and constant badgering amongst players over and over until they quit or just give up and take it……When is enough ,enough? After reading this short article and exerpt it really resonated with me. I remember back when I played sports being constantly badgered, demeaned, and quite frankly verbally abused in every form since I was probably 10 or so years old in every sport I played with the exeption of my soccer team.
It got even worse when I started playing football for my school in 7th grade. I remember having one coach in particular that berated me daily and constantly attacked my manhood, toughness, abilities, or anything else he could find to call me out in front of the team. He did this to many of his players,which would probably explain why the 30 or so players we started with in 7th grade had dwindled to only 12 freshman year and the team had to be disbanded and absorbed into the high school team. He only ever really praised players who he considered were particularly gifted.
I endured this for many years until I finally got fed up and decided to try to play soccer the summer before my senior season. Even though he constantly attacked me for my toughness and stuff later I found out a bunch of the coaches often made statements that I was one of the toughest players they had ever had. The main reason I bring this story to you today is that I notice I still experience the effects of the years of abuse from coaches.
I have completed a college degree and now a year away from completing medical school and despite all I have learned about psychology and through my rotations in psychiatry I am still unable to shake the thoughts and feelings I have about myself as a result of those formative years.
Throughout that time that negative perception of myself became so ingrained in me that today it still rears its ugly head on many occasions even though I know there is no truth to any of it. Today, I am very mentally tough and I have fought through adversity to get to where I am, but despite all I have to be proud of I still find myself with this glaring sense insecurity and self-doubt deep inside that was planted there and ingrained in me by my coaches.
It is easy to just say to ignore it and may be difficult to understand at times, but something about it makes it impossible to shake.
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To anyone reading this, do not let the same happen to you or your children because even though its easy to just write off as part of the game, it can also become a much longer lasting stain on the mind. Your comments really resonate with me bcuz I had a similar athtletic experience with a hs basketball coach.
Nevermind anything I did correctly; he saw to it that he would make my day go south everyday. I think I was so vulnerable for a number of reasons: my father died when I was 5, late bloomer in the game of basketball and new school enviroment all contributed to my lack of confidence. Thank you for articulating this for me. Today, I am a youth basketball coach and my son plays on the team. Short term memory is the key.
I am sorry to say that it happens more often than not, bullying in sports is an epidemic that is largely ignored. He was at a point where he was not loving the game anymore and wanted to quit. My husband and I made an appt. They listened but tried to turn it around to my son and being sensitive.
I asked for a public apology in front of the team and they said no. How do schools let coaches get away with this? My daughters athelic director told her to quit the team when she went to him for adivce about bad coaching. She was crushed. Adults are suppose to be there to support our kids not teach them to be quitters!! I was bullied by my coach in HS. The confidence he took away transferred into other areas, too. My daughter has been bullied by her hs softball coach. It is a shame since she is a motivated young athlete. As the article states, one mistake and that is it.
She has leared to move past her mistake and has worked hard toward her goals. Unfortunately, this coach has made it difficult for my child and took the love of the game right out of her. She is almost done with her season and is now sitting bench from being a starter.
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She now is telling me she does not feel well prior to going to practice or goes to the school nurse. Similar circumstances in the article. The softball coach is friends with the AD. Too bad. Next year she is not playing the sport that she loves so much. This coach just took over the team as a quick fix and now has been there for two seasons. Last year was bad this year is worse.
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Not only has he destroyed an entire softball legacy but also my child. Many parents talk and complain but since he is friends with the AD we feel like there is nothing we can do. My daughter feels for your daughter. Our atheletic director told her she should quit softball and choose another sport when she turned to him for advice with a problem with the coach.
My 9th grade daughter played first time basketball on the team. Her basketball coach and teammates treated her as bad as bad can be, they would not play her but 5 minutes or none the whole season. Basketball- she can shoot well because of private coaching prior to desiding that she was as good as the girls playing.
The coaches moved all the 9th grade girls up on the team except two and they sat the bench. The reason for that was to develope the younger girls and weed out the older girls and bench them so they would quit. The coach played favorites to the famous 5 by partying, dinners, letting them come down to his class room for study hall he even let them run the show to keep their parents off his back. The coach hurt these two girls confidence and being singled out was a blessing to me because I dont want my child to have a creepy relationship with a coach.
Its hard to tell your child its not them and it gives coaches a bad name. If the volleyball season is a issue I will pull her out and move on to gigger and better things. My daughter, a 4 year letterwinner and 2 year captain was bullied by her Varsity Basketball Coach for 3 years. It included verbal humiliation, manipulation of her and her teammates, and constant negative feedback.
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The school administration looked the other way, did not investigate the situation or even speak to the team members about the issue. It is disgusting. It sickens me. So we all know thisis going on but as a parent we are powerless to do anything about it.
Bad coaches do exist
It would be nice to hear from someone in school admin who could tell usnhownto stop it short of legal action. Worse, 5 minutes late to practice turned into humiliating belly crawl across football field, walking on hands on a treadmill, and hiding her sacred rulebook on her to watch her panic.
How is this ANY different from hazing…only much worse, as it is done by the very person these kids are supposed to look up to. She transferred and is very happy, but I am still so conflicted about what to do to address this coach. The university stonewalled me. I feel like cracking it wide open because this is nothing short of the worst form of hazing. Any suggestions? The coach treated her, and she felt…exactly the same as the boy in the article above. Further, she was made to do humiliating belly crawls across the football field and walk on her hands on a treadmillas punishment for being 5 minutes late to practice.
He played mental games with her by hiding her sacred handbook that was supposed to be with them at all times, etc. The University officials all the way up to the President have stonewalled me completely. Not for lack of trying to get commitment out of the university that his dangerous behavior would be addressed.